If you’re going to buy a roadgoing rally car, you have to have the best, you have to have the fastest. And that’s the 340.
It’s not just faster than the other Evos, either. It’s also faster than its Subaru rival.
In fact I’m struggling to think of anything that could keep up.
Off the line, even the best four-wheel-drive cars bog down as the wheels refuse to spin, but not the VIII. You give it a bellyful of revs, dump the clutch, and there’s no lag, no chasm. You’re off like you’ve been fired at the horizon by one of Dick Dastardly’s cartoon catapults.
A mere 4.4sec later you’re past 60mph and that means all but the most exotic rivals are left far behind. This car — and remember, it only costs £33,000 — can be mentioned in the same breath as the Porsche Carrera GT and the McLaren Mercedes.
Mitsubishi says it’s limited the top speed to 157mph, but why? I can hardly see Officer Brunstrom or Jonathon Porritt nodding sagely at their public spiritedness. I suspect the real reason is that at 158 the sit-up-and-beg front-end styling would lose its war with the air and the car would run out of puff anyway.
So, yes, the world’s supercars would take it on a long straight, but come on. What long straight? Are you going to take your Ferrari up to 180 on the M27 to make a point? I don’t think so.
And anyway, eventually you’d get off the motorway and the Evo would catch you up again. This is because, when it comes to the business of going round corners the Evo is quite simply in a class of its own.
You turn in and immediately a bewildering array of acronyms awake from their electronic slumber to get you round the bend at a pace that will leave you reeling.
On the previous generation of Evo VIII the all-wheel control (AWC) gave priority at all times to the antilock braking system (super-ABS) which meant that under heavy braking the active centre differential (ACD) and the active yaw control (AYC) were disengaged.
Not any more. Now you can set the attitude of the car under braking and still the yaw moment will be controlled.
Mumbo-jumbo? Not from behind the wheel it isn’t. You fly through corners thinking how in God’s name is this possible. You’re being flung out of the supremely supportive seat, everything that isn’t bolted down is being thrown round the interior, and yet the tyres, which are still just rubber, are hanging on.
All Evos are good at this but the MR FQ-340, perhaps because of the reprogramming or perhaps because it has an aluminium roof to lower the centre of gravity, can make you seriously cross-eyed.
I urge you with all my heart to beg, steal or borrow one of these things and take it to a quiet road you know well. It will completely redefine your concept of what driving’s all about.