invest in a pressure washer if you have one of those, thats awesome
i like to use a snow foam lance cake the car for about 10 minutes and then jet it off
then you need a good quality wash mit not a sponge as dirt and gime sticks to sponges.
2 buckets, 1 with a grit guard so when you rinse it all the grit goes to the bottom and not floating about which you could drag along your paint work.
Car shampoo wise everyone has there own favorites dodo juice born to be mild is pretty good stuff smells great too! and i really like autoglym car shampoo and conditioner works really well!
A good quality chamouis to autoglym again do a really good one.
tyre/wheel cleaner - i use autosmart g101 and autoglym wheel cleaner
metal polish - meguiars nxt gen polyish is awesome brings exhausts and alloys up to a great shine!
then clay bar and waxes of your choice.